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| The Cancer Journals |
It's
been three weeks since I found out I had cancer. My consultant
gynaecologist had been trying to phone me and left messages on my
voice mail, but as I sometimes don't check it for a couple of days, I
didn't realise. I had emailed his secretary asking if I could have
the results of the tests I'd had done. Then I got the letter telling
me of an appointment to see a consultant at the MacMillan Cancer
Centre, so I knew.
The
first two weeks, I was pretty much in shock. I met with the
consultant oncologist, who told me I would have to have a complete hysterectomy.
In between being in shock, I have been going through the first
stages of grief: denial and anger. I have been angry at pretty much
everybody – everybody who doesn't have cancer, everybody who has a
partner or children or family around them – so that's pretty much
everybody.
Trying
to get the support I need, well, that's an ongoing battle. Or series
of battles. Anyway. I'm strong. I'm tough, right? I am a warrior. I am also
vulnerable. And I certainly was not expecting this.
I
don't know how long I can keep up this blog series, because I don't
know how I will feel physically or emotionally, or if I
will have the courage to say what's really going on for me. I'll do
my best to keep it real, for as long as I can. But some days, no doubt I will not feel up to posting.
I trust you will find this series useful and helpful. Please leave your comments below.
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