|The Cancer Journals|
It's been three weeks since I found out I had cancer. My consultant gynaecologist had been trying to phone me and left messages on my voice mail, but as I sometimes don't check it for a couple of days, I didn't realise. I had emailed his secretary asking if I could have the results of the tests I'd had done. Then I got the letter telling me of an appointment to see a consultant at the MacMillan Cancer Centre, so I knew.
The first two weeks, I was pretty much in shock. I met with the consultant oncologist, who told me I would have to have a complete hysterectomy. In between being in shock, I have been going through the first stages of grief: denial and anger. I have been angry at pretty much everybody – everybody who doesn't have cancer, everybody who has a partner or children or family around them – so that's pretty much everybody.
Trying to get the support I need, well, that's an ongoing battle. Or series of battles. Anyway. I'm strong. I'm tough, right? I am a warrior. I am also vulnerable. And I certainly was not expecting this.
I don't know how long I can keep up this blog series, because I don't know how I will feel physically or emotionally, or if I will have the courage to say what's really going on for me. I'll do my best to keep it real, for as long as I can. But some days, no doubt I will not feel up to posting.
I trust you will find this series useful and helpful. Please leave your comments below.