Cancer Journal 4: Brain Freeze

Brain Freeze

Continuing this blog series “Cancer Journals”, named after Audre Lorde's classic The Cancer Journals.  Please leave your comments below.  Thanks. 

 

I saw the hospital psychologist on Friday.  She reckons I am still in shock, and I realise now that I am.  I'm very vague a lot of the time, and I'm having trouble making decisions.

Once I was given the cancer diagnosis, I went into brain freeze.  As my flat fills up with packing materials, my head can hold very little apart from clothes, green candles and similar.  I am usually not that into clothes, but I am turning into one of those women who take ages to decide what to wear.

At times like this, it's useful to have friends who tell me what to do, like the one I talked about here.

Cancer Journal 2: My Diagnosis

Continuing this blog series, “Cancer Journals”, named after Audre Lorde's classic The Cancer Journals.

Below is a letter I sent to my sister, who is a doctor, yesterday.  It is a bit technical, as it gives a few of the details of my diagnosis.

I saw the doctor at the hospital yesterday. I shall be having surgery on ----- and be in hospital for 4-5 days afterwards. The surgeon will be Mr. M----, who was the consultant I was referred to.

There are still a lot of unanswered questions. The cancer is inside a cyst which is either on my right ovary or in the peritoneum next to my uterus and ovary.  They are going to remove everything - my ovaries, womb and cervix, as well as some fat cells and some lymph nodes in the area. The cancer MAY have spread to the lymph nodes, but they are not sure.

They have not found a primary site for the cancer and are not sure whether the cyst is the primary. They expect to know more once the pathologist has examined the tissue.

I think that is pretty much all I know now.... I do find that the more information I get, the more upset I become, so I need to manage this.